THE SPACEBITCH "You Should Have Been In My Shoes Yesterday"

(c) 2001 Independent Release

1. Life Ain't Funny
2. So Messed Up
3. God Damn
4. Little Psychopath
5. Nothing Makes Sense
6. What's The News
7. I Know The Score
8. Here Today, Gone To Hell
9. E.G.O. Mind
10. Damage
11. Never Ever Be Like Me
12. Last Resort

Hoon--Vocals

Jackie--Bass and Backing Vocals

Stophe--Lead Guitar, Backing Vocals

Crille--Rhythm Guitar, Backing Vocals, Percussion, Piano

Flodis--Drums

Every now and then when doing a review site such as Glitter2Gutter, something is sent to you that you have no idea about.  You have no idea about who the band is.  You have no idea how the CD was sent to you.  You have no idea about why the band thinks they are, in fact.  Perth, Australia's Spacebitch is one such band, on ALL accounts.  I have never heard of them, I cannot find any information about the band (even the website has been taken down), I have no idea why or how the CD was sent to me...14 years after it was released...and I have no clue why these guys recorded a CD.  Simply put, this is NOT very good stuff at all and the only reason I am reviewing it is because...well...because I want to prevent anyone from seriously hurting themselves by seeking out this record and playing it.

You Should Have Been In My Shoes Yesterday is garage sleaze punk in its purest, most raucous form.  The disc starts off with a parental warning, which is mildly humorous...and then it goes straight downhill.  Played as loudly and as fast as possible, this CD is made up of 12 songs that COMBINED clock in at less than 27 minutes, with half the disc's songs coming in at 2:04 or less.  The "epic" here, "Never Ever Be Like Me" is the real clock-burner, checking in at 3:39, while "Nothing Makes Sense" spins the hands 3 times as well.  Otherwise, the band keeps most of this noise mercifully short, which I guess I can thank them for.

Hoon's vocals are gritty and more spit out than anything; he never approaches anything resembling singing, which is just as well as most of the lyrics are so mind-numbingly repetitive and inane that being able to understand them all might make my head explode.  The drums are equally repetitive and simple, and the rhythm and bass lines are pretty much just up-and-down grinding of the instruments' respective strings, albeit at a fast pace.  The lead guitars aren't horrible, I suppose, and actually show a bit of promise musically if Stophe could manage to break away from this trainwreck of a band and end up in a good rock act of some type.  Again, considering this showed up out of the blue some 14 years after its release, maybe he has managed to find a solid band...or managed to find full-time work in the sanitation industry...who knows.  

Song-wise, there is really very little I can say here.  I guess the piano is an interesting addition to "Nothing Makes Sense", although even that is little more than in-tune-and-tempo banging on the keys.  Other than that, there is virtually no variance in pace, tempo, style, or sound between any of these "songs".

Let's see...positives, positives, positives...  Well, I guess the production isn't terrible and someone with at least some skill recorded this as it doesn't sound like it was recorded on a boombox or in a basement.  Apparently the guys all showed up with instruments.  Someone knew how to turn the power on.  So, yeah...there you go...

I am sure these guys' friends think they were the best unsigned band in Australian history, and there is likely a punk aficionado that will absolutely love this record.  For me however, I can categorically state I will never...EVER...put this in my CD player or computer again and thank the Divine intervention that gave me the wisdom of not ripping this to my iTunes so that I didn't have to waste the time removing it.

By the way, I had to work WAY TOO HARD to get the "album cover" (its computer printed and folded in half...nothing inside) put up, as even my scanner didn't want to touch the thing and there are ZERO images that I could find on-line.  Also, it was STUCK inside the plastic sleeve, so  I ended up taking a picture with my phone (sorry about the flash) and emailing it to myself.  That's how much I care about YOU never buying this by accident!

Rating:  Just turn it off.  I'll give them...or whomever sent this to me...a 1 for the time and effort. 

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